When the days are cold
And the cards all fold
And the saints we see
Are all made of gold
When your dreams all fail
And the ones we hail
Are the worst of all
And the blood’s run stale…
(Demons – Imagine Dragon)
On a very sympathetic note, I am writing my article today. As I was taking a look at today’s newspaper my eyes got stuck on a particular news. Because of two words in the headline, Suicide and Gay, one arise my sympathy and the other titillates my interest. When I read the news report it was about a young doctor, Dr.Priya Vedi who chooses to end her life because of the mental trauma she was experiencing after discovering her husband Kamal Vedi’s sexual orientation is toward same sex. But sorry folks I can’t pretend to be sorry for her, I am sympathetic more than sorry. Before coming to the topic, I have some questions for all of you:
Haven’t we seen other incidents of suicides, after reading about it, we thought that person was a stupid he or she could have done this or that. But is it really simple to take any out of the line decision in your life? If isn’t, then why so?
No, I am not going to start the same cliché of blaming our society or the girl or not the boy. What you people think; the boy should be brave enough to declare his sexual orientation? If yes? Then why did he choose to hide it?
The girl was socially financially independent. Why didn’t she opt for a divorce? Is it because of a prolonged process of divorce law in our country?
Or pressure to work the marriage out?
Why did she tolerate the mental torture?
Why didn’t she visit a psychiatrist if she was experiencing depression or mental trauma?
Why did she mention homosexuality as an “abnormal” sexual orientation in her facebook post if she had accepted it all together?
Every one of us has different answers for this? Some people will point fingers toward the society, saying society should accept same sex attraction.
Some will blame the law for illegalised homosexuality in India. Some will say the boy is a coward as he didn’t come out with his sexual orientation before marrying the girl.Others will say it was a wrong decision taken by her for her.
But have you think about any common single answer that can clarify all this WHYs?
The answer to all these WHYs is our deformed mindset. Some preconceived notions which are deep rooted in our mindset can play dark games without our knowledge. For this reason, we often judge others even judge ourselves.
We all are units of our society. So our society will change when we change ourselves individually. Preconceived notions come from our ambiance in which we grow up. Which is more or less shaped our way of thinking programmed our attitude toward a different situation.
- A girl needs to compromise to maintain harmony and balance in her family. Otherwise, the girl along with the family is doomed.
- If you fail to work out your marriage you are doomed.
- If you feel differently toward your same sex other than what you have been taught you are doomed.
- If you have some uncommon unconventional thoughts in your head conceal them. If you can’t, you are doomed.
- So many doomsday. And amidst this state of chaos unpleasant incidents like these occur.
What we need to accept in our life and in others life as well, are, everything can’t be picture perfect, can’t be conventional, can’t be the way we have seen or known it. And it’s ok to accept it if you feel different and think differently, it’s ok to be different. There is nothing to hide or conceal. As concealing truth will only lead to more destruction. And also we need to understand maintaining harmony in a family isn’t the sole responsibility of a girl. Marriage is a relationship which cherishes togetherness if it fails to do so, it doesn’t mean to last, and sometimes it’s better to let it go. Sometimes you need to stand up for your own. It’s ok to break the chain if it is only there to hurt you. If you are a girl, you aren’t the sole responsible to make all the compromises waiting for a better tomorrow. We need to learn to respect the individuality of our own, as well as others only then we can expect stability other than suicides.
Have a look at her last facebook status as well.
Share your views in the comment section below.