First of all, as we know, firing someone from a job can never be a fun. We searched online to know how to ease the situation or how to say someone “I don’t want to see your face inside my office” in a polite tone. Here are some jolts of humour to relax your grey matter. Remember these are only for fun without any ‘so-called’ practical usages.
Disclaimer: It can be humiliating for your employees. Don’t try these at Office. Still if you try, try at your own risk. These can land you in some serious lawsuits.
- Shift the Cat: With every passing day, shift his or her desk little more towards the exit of the office. If he or she asks, tell that you want some more space free for some new recruitment. Or show some unrealistic reasons, like “our Office is shrinking actually, please adjust”. And One day he comes to office only to find his desk outside, under the blue sky with a pink slip on it.
- Nobody can escape death, not even your job: You dress as a grim reaper or an Indian version of that, which is YamRaj. And tell him or her. “Your Days in this office is over. I am here to sentence death to your job.” And hand over the pink slip.
- Sentencing while playing: Organize an office party or a get-together and invite that unfortunate fellow too. Start a game like Truth or Dare, and whenever the pillow is at your hand, or the bottle is pointing at you, choose truth instead of dare and fire the boom. You Are fired Mr. / Ms X, we wish you a successful future ahead.
- Follow the leaders: This one is more or less like the previous one. Organise a Lottery game for all employees. Fill the jar with pink slips on all of them write the same sentence: We are sorry to inform you like this. But we don’t need your service in this office anymore. Wish you best of luck for your future: You are fired (And we are serious). And told the misfortunate fellow to choose a ticket, before others start to take those mini booms out in the open.
- Ask that person about how to terminate some fellow legally and without feeling uneasy and guilty. And after his or her long speech. Say “you are fired” and act according to his given speech.
- Handed him over a book on how to improve one in his or her profession or how to be more efficient in whatever work they do, with a pink slip, that reads “Your Days Are Over(with us)”.
- Gift Him a nimboo-mirchi dhaga and send him or her letter which says, “sorry for terminating you from our office. It has been noticed from the very first day at your job; you have brought an evil omen into our office with you. We have decided that you, being a Panwwati, Can’t be the part of our family. Please wear this Nimbo mirch ka dhaga to spare others from your evil presence.” And with it send the obvious pink slip.
- Write a ridiculous termination letter, showing humorous causes:
Mr. / Ms. X
IT is my painful duty to inform you that your services will be terminated from 1st July.
Your Work, punctuality and efficiency have been under observation for the last three months. They were quite impressive. But your habit of farting is causing serious health obligations in our other employees. One of them has got serious lung ailment due to your poisonous substance. Hence, the management has no other way but to give you one month’s notice of termination as per the terms of your appointment.
Terminating someone isn’t really an easy task. From these “good for nothing” tips now you ended up more relaxed than before when you started to read this. Now go ahead and shout “You are fired”.